Rant: ON

Mummy has taken 2 mg of morphine in less than 12 hours, with 1 mg each time. Both times, she was yelling and screaming in pain, and both times happened after her diaper was changed.

Basically, whenever the nurses change her diaper, the position of her leg changes, and it causes her pain.

Last night, I called Anis and he came. He was here to help calm down the yelling, and calm her down. Within 20 minutes, she was passed out. Today I was by myself, and it took 40 minutes to calm her down after morphine was put through her IV.

I hope this doesn’t become routine. Change her diaper -> legs hurt -> yell from pain -> give her morphine. Because that would be pretty bad. Morphine is really strong.

Right after the nurse inserted the 1 mg into her IV Mummy felt nauseous. The nurse said sometimes it’s natural to feel like throwing up after having morphine.

I hope she doesn’t need it on a regular basis and that this is just a one-timer.

When she was yelling in pain, the circumstances of her condition became real to me. This was a human being in severe pain, begging everyone and anyone who would listen to relieve her from her pain.

The nurse asked me to ask Mummy, “On a scale of 1 to 10, ask her how much pain she has.”

It still amazes me how little some of the nurses here understand her disease. It’s so frustrating.

(warning: venting in progress)

Do you really expect someone with this stage of dementia to pause and critically examine the magnitude of their pain on a scale of 1 to 10????? How stupid are you??? If Mummy had even an ounce of strength, she’d smack you up the back of your head herself for asking such a dumb question.

She’s yelling from pain, she’s crying her eyes out, she doesn’t understand anything except the fact that she thinks she’s dying from pain…what does that tell you??? I can assure you, she’s not crying over a paper cut. She’s in real, un-filtered, hardcore pain. A couple of Tylenol’s won’t do the trick. She didn’t just hurt her finger playing soccer and get a boo-boo. Her legs are swollen, she can’t even bend them even if you asked nicely, and her catheter, although extremely necessary, is annoying the bejeezers out of her. She’s in an unfamiliar environment, with people she doesn’t know wiping her poop, and it doesn’t help that some of the nurses on the floor mockingly spray air freshener while laughing at how bad she smells. She has all this going on and you want her to pause and reflect on how severe her pain is? How loud does she have to yell for you to understand??

Stupid, freakin’, MORONS.

Done ranting. Good night.

  1. #1 by Suraiya Sayed on October 1, 2011 - 10:35 am

    Mariam — you can clean her. First use the tissue sheets. Then dampen them and wipe. Help her as the nurses do not care and have little or no patience. They have seen so much that they are now insensitive.

    I wish I could be there to help.

    Your Mama

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