Major deterioration

Mummy’s health has worsened. What our worst fears were from the beginning has now turned into reality.

No control over bowels?

Already happened.

Unable to walk at all?

Already happened.

It’s not that she medically can’t walk. Her legs work alright. It’s that she has given up. She simply has just given up at this point. She isn’t bothered with trying to sit up on her own, let alone stand up on her own. To her, she’s already lost the battle, why try?

Naturally, this has made things 100000X more difficult.

Things like personal hygiene, holding a glass of water, sitting up straight all need to be done by someone else.

Maybe because Anis, Papa and I are all amateurs at this we are finding this extremely difficult to physically handle. (Ignoring the mental and emotional difficulties we are all facing. Right now we’re talking physical).

Physically, to do things as putting on her diaper (yes, she wears diapers now), or pulling up her pajama pants is a workout.

I’m not sure how Papa and I are going to physically handle that when Anis is at work. At this point, Anis is the physical job do-er. Lifting, carrying, turning, he does it all. We are merely his assistants.

We got Mummy a bed-pan, maybe we will have to just use that while Anis is at work.

Mummy had an extremely upset stomach these past few days, which just adds one more notch on the difficulty scale. She went through four (?) or five (?) changes of clothes today.

After the third time, we stopped counting. And don’t even ask us how many times we changed her yesterday. That is too long ago to remember.

Today she had a fever of 103.5 degrees. After giving her Tylenol (Children’s liquid Tylenol, mind you, given through a medical dripper inserted at the back of her tongue. Tablet form is out of the question at this point), and placing wet towels all over her feet, head, neck, and stomach, it has finally come down to normal temperature.

At several points during the day, we seriously debated whether or not to take her to the ER. We had to weigh the pros and the cons. The wait over there vs. being in the comfort of her own home and her own bathroom.

From all the doctors we consulted via phone, they basically said, “If she is able to continuously drink gatorade (because of her loss of salts from her severe diarrhea) then she can stay at home.”

So we started giving her gatorade. Every half hour or so, we’d try giving her a glass, seeing how much she’d drink. She would only drink a few gulps, but that’s alright. As long as she kept drinking. Every now and then, give her a glass, take a few gulps, take a break, and so on and so forth.

Anis’s elder brother has taken a week off work and should be arriving tomorrow. Anis is also taking some time off work.

Basically, it will take us a few days to figure out how to manage this new curve-ball that has come our way. Physically, emotionally, mentally, we need to figure out a system of what to do.

She soiled herself? No big. Follow these steps.

She needs to take medication? No big. Follow these steps.

Food? Water? Easy. Step 1, 2 and 3.

Getting stressed out? It’s alright. Take a deep breath, crack a joke or two, lighten up the mood, ease the tension in the air, keep going forward.

At this point, we’re not sure if she’ll get better. Yes, we are hoping she gets better, but the reality is: She doesn’t have that much time left. At this point, it could happen any time. By it, I’m sure you know what I mean.

It.

The two letter word that has to now become a part of our rationally-thinking way to deal with this. We have to mentally prepare for it, so that it doesn’t come as a shock to us. If it happens, we cannot go into panic mode.

We need to focus, focus, focus on how to deal with it. We need to discuss, “If it happens, what is our plan of action?”

God only knows how tomorrow will be. Heck, how tonight is going to pass.

Tomorrow, this week, next weekend, next week….So far away.

Right now, we can only think of what is happening right now. At the moment, what does she need? At the moment, what needs to be done? “Ok, Anis does this, Papa does this, I do this.” Bam bam bam. Teamwork, family work, working together to figure out how to handle this today.

God only knows what will happen after that….

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  1. #1 by Abu Asiyah on September 26, 2011 - 4:15 pm

    may Allah Azza Wajjal grant her shifa and ease and reward you all for your patience. And may He (SWT) make the situation easy on all of you and bless your entire family with Jannatul Firdous. Ameen!

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