The Big Fall

Mummy fell today. She had been nagging Anis and Papa that she wanted to go out all day. Finally at around five in the afternoon, they caved in and decided to take her. Her walker was brought to her, she stood up, pushing her walker, and walked out the door with Papa. Anis sensed Papa needed more assistance, so he went with them.

Outside our home, there is a disability ramp that is placed on top of two or three steps leading out of our condo building. Anis held her arm, but her coordination just isn’t there anymore. While on the ramp, she fell face forward towards the ground. It’s a good thing Anis held her arm, otherwise she would have fallen straight into the plants that are on either side of the ramp.

He supported her entire weight with her arm, while she was sort of in half air and half ground. He gently and slowly lowered her weight onto the floor, easing the impact.

Mummy’s brain turned into mush at that point. She couldn’t coordinate her feet with Anis’s instructions to try and sit up. So Anis lifted her entire weight up, and brought her to a standing position. Once in a standing position, he stood behind her and supported her weight by holding her from behind. He then walked into the home while she was half carried, half walking.

She’s fallen twice before, both times not even nearly as bad as this time was. He said she just didn’t react, didn’t even try and reach for anything and try and save herself. Her brain just is not functioning anymore. A walker is okay for moving around the house, but outside of the house she cannot walk anymore. She needs to be in a wheelchair.

Even at home, when she’s standing, her knees are shaking as she is doing her best to stop herself from falling. But at least she is putting an effort to stop herself from falling. When she is in panic mode, she just turns completely numb. As Anis put it, “It’s as if I was picking up a log.”

These past 2 weeks, her disease has progressed extremely fast. She has gotten noticeably weaker. Walking isn’t becoming a problem, walking IS a problem. As far as her deterioration is concerned, we don’t think she will be able to walk very soon. It will get to the point where we won’t be able to lift her and take her to the bathroom, she will have to wear adult diapers and/or use a bedpan.

Today, in a rare moment of clarity, Mummy understood that she is getting worse. She can’t even walk now without assistance. She broke down and cried. It wasn’t the type of crying where a tear or two rolls down. It was sobbing uncontrollably. Anyone she spoke to on the phone, she would break down and cry when they asked how she was doing. She couldn’t say she was doing fine, because she knew she wasn’t.

Her disease is in the final stage. There is no stage after this. Who knows how long this stage will last, and how bad it will get. Some people with severely advanced dementia have to be fed through a feeding tube. Will this go that far?

We just don’t know. With time all things are revealed….

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