Flower

Once in a golden hour

I cast to earth a seed.
Up there came a flower,
The people said, a weed.

To and fro they went
Thro’ my garden bower,
And muttering discontent
Cursed me and my flower.

Then it grew so tall
It wore a crown of light,
But thieves from o’er the wall
Stole the seed by night.

Sow’d it far and wide
By every town and tower,
Till all the people cried,
“Splendid is the flower!”

Read my little fable:
He that runs may read.
Most can raise the flowers now,
For all have got the seed.

And some are pretty enough,
And some are poor indeed;
And now again the people
Call it but a weed.

By : Alfred Lord Tennyson

Mom recites the first two lines of this poem often. It’s quite something to forget the  language but remember a couplet in it.

Mohammad Rafi was an Indian singer, who sang many many songs for the movies and all. He is still thought to be the best singer India has ever produced  for his voice.  He has since passed away but keeps on helping us out. I have tried this few time and it has worked. Every time I feel the anxiety attack coming, I play some old Mohammad Rafi songs, and mom calms down. The general hospital in Baghdad back in 1000 AD used music as a means of calming patients down.

Mom had visitors yesterday, her younger sister and her husband, and her younger brother came to visit her from San Diego. They had a first hand experience of dementia. The psychotic episodes usually happen in the early part of the day when I am at work.  They were all visiting her then and saw the anger and anxiety. My uncle who visited is her favorite brother. And being the favorite always helps. He was able to feed her lunch when she refused to eat it by herself or anyone else.

All these episodes everyday take a big toll on dad. He loses it at times too. But its okay, I and Mariam understand that it is the toughest on him. Being the primary care giver is extremely difficult. And tougher is to keep a positive attitude. People visiting and calling, small breaks like going to the movies help, so do walks but it’s still tough.  There is a concept in Islam called  ” Ar- Rida” . This loosely means to be content with your condition. To not complain or feel dejected because of hardship but take it as this has been ordained by Allah. And though we might not see the good in it, understand that the Mercy of Allah is everlasting and Allah alone knows whats best for you. Ar- Rida is said to be the key to happiness irrespective of your situation.

Easier said than done.. right… but can it not be done?

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  1. #1 by Bhaiya on July 28, 2011 - 6:11 am

    Anis, it is only good Qismat to have you as a son and as a brother in our family. Any Allah has blessed you with a partner like Mariam. A good wife can help you go thorugh hard times easily or a bad one can make even normal days miserable. May Allah bless both of you with all possible goodness.

    Utilization of your great writing skills in this blog is great idea. With all this also comes a bit of responsibility of documentation of daily experiences; which you are already doing.

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